We’ve all been there. One minute you’re hard at work tending to your horse farm, then suddenly you hear a trio of fiddles and a steel guitar. “Oh no, not again,” you probably say to yourself. But it’s too late. The 60-foot American flag has been erected, an F-150 is tearing through your pasture, and a trio of blondes clad in cutoff jeans have hijacked your John Deere tractor.
You’re in another country music video.
All country music videos share a few things in common. There are a few ways to tell if you’ve found yourself in one or not.
If you find everyone but the band to be moving in slow motion:
From your slowed perspective, the band appears to be playing at near light-speed.
If you notice you’ve been walking on train tracks for several hours:
Easily the second best way to travel on train tracks.
If you frequently find yourself singing alone in the middle of the road:
…Or the middle of nowhere.
If you can’t go floating down the river without a guitar:
If driving a pickup always looks like this:
Or this:
Filling up your pickup always involves guitars:
If it’s physically impossible for your cowboy hat to come off:
Seriously, how is Alan Jackson doing this?