8 Music-Inspired Tattoos I’m Thankful I Didn’t Get In The ’80s

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Who doesn’t need music-inspired tattoos? You don’t.

I recently saw the words “Nothing Safe Is Worth the Drive” tattooed on the forearm of our 18-year-old babysitter, and I asked her what it meant. “It’s a song lyric,” she shrugged. “From Taylor Swift’s ‘Treacherous.’”

“Well, it’s a good lyric!” I said to her, but then I thought about what I would have had inked on my body when I was 18-years-old and I immediately thanked the Lord that tattoos weren’t popular back then. Because if they were, I’d probably be stuck with one of these:

WE DON’T HAVE TO TAKE OUR CLOTHES OFF TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

I loved dancing to the super popular song “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off” by Jermaine Stewart in 1987. But those words on my body now would probably send mixed signals to the loan officer at the bank. (Or maybe they’d help me get a better rate?)

I’M GONNA LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER, FOREVER AND EVER, FOREVER AND EVER, FOREVER AND EVER, AMEN.

I still love this Randy Travis song, but the lyric is so long, I would have had to get it inked on my back. And then every time I had a massage for the rest of my life, the masseuse would think I was hitting on him. In a very sweet way.

GET OUTTA MY DREAMS, GET INTO MY CAR

Like everyone in 1987, I was a big Billy Ocean fan. But that’s before we all realized how super-creepy this song actually is. And if you drive a white panel van, this is probably the worst tattoo you could ever have.

(I JUST) DIED IN YOUR ARMS TONIGHT

Great song by Cutting Crew. Not a great lyric to have on your arm when a paramedic is treating you in the back of an ambulance.

ALL MY EX’S LIVE IN TEXAS

Who doesn’t love this George Strait song? It’s impossible to not sing along. But maybe it’s not the best thing to have on your arm when you’re dating men you meet on Match.com.

WELL MY NAME’S JOHN LEE PETTIMORE, SAME AS MY DADDY AND HIS DADDY BEFORE

This is the awesome first line of Steve Earle’s “Copperhead Road,” a song I listened to repeatedly in 1989. But while the song is great, having that line tattooed on my arm would have been a really bad idea. Mostly because my name isn’t John Lee Pettimore.

LIKE A DRIFTER I WAS BORN TO WALK ALONE

On the one hand, this lyric from Whitesnake’s “Here I Go” shows off your inner rebel. On the other, it definitely makes people think of Tawny Kitaen rolling around on a car’s hood. And that might not be such a good thing when you’re in church.

EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT

Every party I went to in the late 80’s had Wang Chung’s song “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” on repeat. I loved this song. But now that I think about it, “Everybody Wang Chung Tonight” wouldn’t have been a good thing to tattoo on my arm. No, it would have been THE BEST thing to tattoo on my arm. It’s not too late, is it?

Photo Credit: Thomas Hawk via Compfight cc