As we near the end of 2016, it’s only fitting that One Country shares a few of those classic, end of the year lists. Like you, we are kind of bored with the typical end of the year lists, so we’re putting our own spin on a few!
Normally, I wouldn’t write about the worst of anything, unless it’s really bad. And sometimes, in an effort to pave the way for where you’re going, you have to remember where you’ve been. In 2016, country music turned a corner– a big one– listeners took note of artistry over pageantry and wanted more from their favorite singers. Mostly, we got better, but we also got some bad ones. Let’s remember them and leave them behind in 2016.
9 Worst Country Music Singles of 2016:
1. “Move” // Luke Bryan
Bryan moved this one to the top of the charts, but it followed a heartfelt, feel-good “Huntin’, Fishin’ and Lovin’ Every Day.” It felt like a regression for him and it was. The spelling of “M-O-V-E” was particularly bad. At least Fergie and Gwen Stefani spelled long words like “glamorous” and “bananas.”
2. “Vacation” // Thomas Rhett
Without a doubt, 2016 was the year of Thomas Rhett. He’s a bonafide country music star these days. He should take this song and erase it from the Internet and his catalog entirely. He’ll thank himself in 20 years when CMT gives him some kind of lifetime achievement award.
3. “Whisper” // Chase Rice
Rice released “Whisper” along with 371 words to fans promising “more depth.” Basically, he released this song and apologized for it in advance. I needed closer to 500 words to make up for this.
4. “Thunder in the Rain” // Kane Brown
5. “Real Men Love Jesus” // Michael Ray
For Ray, it’s an ode to his grandfather and father, whom he absolutely adores. For the world, it’s pandering and theologically off. Ray’s gonna be okay though because he’s a great songwriter, the nicest guy in town and has a smile that’ll make you forget the pandering.
6. “Comeback Kid” // The Band Perry
If these siblings would retreat back to their country roots they’d be unstoppable. But, also this song was a little whiny, that’s the problem here. Among other things. I think Katy Perry could release this and win a GRAMMY.
7. “She’s Got a Way With Words” // Blake Shelton
There’s a reason this was Shelton’s first single to not top the charts in 7 years— it’s negative, pretty rude and yeah, when he sings it, it’s about Miranda Lambert.
8. “Beautiful Drug” // Zac Brown Band
This one is definitely the Hyde from the band’s JEKYLL + HYDE. Every single time I hear it, I think– WHY?
9. “RED, WHITE & YOU” // Steven Tyler
Thankfully, we still have Tyler’s Aerosmith catalog to listen to, because this is seriously bad. Kind of makes you love him more though for some reason– he’s just trying to make new music. Really, it’s the lyrics. No, really.
You pulling me a little bit closer
Heart beating like a big bass drum
We spinning on a roller coaster
A free fallin’ into your yum yum
All the bad girls rockin’ those cut off jeans
And good old boys driving big machines
And you can kiss my ass, can’t help but say
It’s good to be “born in the USA”
Bang bang, baby, like the Fourth of July
A lightning strike in the midnight sky
Don’t give a damn about the summertime blues
All I need is red white and you
Peel off those colors babe
Tell me you’re gonna stay
American girls making dreams come true