7 Classic TV Theme Show Songs Always Stuck in My Head, But With the Wrong Lyrics

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I watch more TV than most people you know and one of my first CDs was Television’s Greatest Hits Volume II.

Plus, growing up, I was really into Nick at Nite. I’ve seen all the TV shows and heard all the songs. But, I haven’t seen some of these shows in years and somehow, the songs are always (always) stuck in my head.

7 Classic TV Theme Show Songs Always Stuck in My Head, But With the Wrong Lyrics:

1. “The Facts of Life

Alan Thicke was a co-writer on this tongue twister and though I’ve been singing it for decades, that second diddy gets me every time.

There’s a time you got to go and show
You’re growin’ now you know about

The facts of life, the facts of life.

But, the one line I always get right?

And suddenly you’re finding out
the facts of life are all about you, you.

2. “Scooby Doo”

I’m mostly confident that I’ve never seen a full of episode of “Scooby Doo,” so it makes very little sense that this song is always in my head. And guess what? The words are not:

Scooby-Dooby-Doo, where are you?
And how in the hell are you?

3. “Happy Days”

I usually lose interest in the days of the week by Tuesday. And I always get confused that the lyrics start with Sunday.

Sunday, Monday, Happy Days,
Tuesday, Wednesday, Happy Days,

Thursday, Friday, Happy Days,

The weekend comes, my cycle hums

Ready to race to you

4. “Laverne and Shirley”

Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!

A few years ago I googled, “Hasenpfeffer Incorporated.” I really wanted to know if it was some big corporation in Milwaukee I had never heard of. It isn’t.

Schlemiel: n, an unlucky burglar; chump; clumsy person (Yiddish)

Schlemazel: n, a very unlucky or inept person who fails at everything (Yiddish)

Hasenpfefffer: n, a highly seasoned stew made out of marinated rabbit meat (German)

5. “Full House

Those echoes though.

Everywhere you look, everywhere you go
There’s a heart (there’s a heart), a hand to hold on to
Everywhere you look, everywhere you go
There’s a face (there’s a face) of somebody who needs you

6. “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”

I recently had the revelation that no one is telling Mary, “you can have a DIME girl, why don’t you take it?” Even back then a dime wouldn’t be that much.

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can never tell, why don’t you take it

7. “The Golden Girls”

But, would everyone else bring a gift?

And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you ever knew
You would see the biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say thank you for being a friend.