“Love Actually” is … Country


“Love Actually” is a Christmas time movie tradition many incorporate into their holiday rotation. It’s full of interconnected English people experiencing interconnected emotions; love, grief, jealousy, satisfaction, anger, and more love. It’s all appears very civilized, because they’re British (except for Laura Linney, and don’t even get me started on how she continuously sabotages herself by dressing like she’s given up, mostly by wearing that horrible purple toboggan everywhere she goes) but underneath, everyone is messy, as emotions tend to be.

The soundtrack lends itself well to the more reserved nature of our friends across the pond, but what if “Love Actually” were reimagined as a Country movie? The soundtrack would go a little like this:

“All You Need Is Love” by Lynden David Hall = “How Forever Feels” by Kenny Chesney

The best man in the wedding loves surprising his best friend, the groom, and his now wife, with whom the best man is also in love. Instead of a cold, stone church, the wedding would be held in a barn strung with lots of twinkling white Christmas lights. Kenny would make a cameo, shaking his tail in tight jeans, as is his custom.

“Both Sides, Now” by Joni Mitchell = “Whiskey River” by Willie Nelson

We all wish we had a river to skate away on sometimes, but when some trifling ho is getting jewelry for Christmas from your husband while you are getting a Joni Mitchell box set, we all know what Willie would suggest to get your mind off of it.

“Christmas Is All Around” by Bill Nighy = “Merry Christmas From The Family” by Montgomery Gentry

In the original movie, Billy Mack is trying to make a comeback with a cover of one of his old songs by changing it into a Christmas tune. In real life, Montgomery Gentry’s career got a shot in the arm by covering Robert Earl Keen’s original.

“Take Me As I Am” by Wyclef Jean featuring Sharissa = “Some Girls Do” by Sawyer Brown

What better song to be played at a wedding reception after you’ve vowed for better or worse? Hopefully everyone has been honest about who they are. It makes things easier.

“Puppy Love” by Paul Anka = “Our Song” by Taylor Swift

Another wedding reception song that makes young love into something easy and sweet.

“Bye Bye Baby (Baby Goodbye)” by Bay City Rollers = “The Dance” by Garth Brooks

For a funeral scene, nothing beats the bittersweet knowledge Garth gives us in this emotional song.

“Sweetest Goodbye” by Maroon 5 = “Kerosene” by Miranda Lambert

There’s more than one way to say bid farewell to a lover.

“All I Want For Christmas Is You” by Olivia Olson = “All I Want For Christmas Is You” by Jennifer Nettles

Don’t fix it if it isn’t broken. Just countrify it.

“I’ll See It Through” by Texas = “Who I Am With You” by Chris Young

Sometimes love is tough. Sometimes it makes you a better person. Sometimes it makes for a slow, sweet song.

“Jump (For My Love)” by The Pointer Sisters = “This Is How We Roll” by Florida-Georgia Line featuring Luke Bryan

See the awkwardly cute Prime Minister dancing around to this song by himself in the original? In the Country version, the President gathers his dude-bros around him for a little party in the Oval Office. It’s the American way.

“Here With Me” by Dido = “Leave The Pieces” by The Wreckers

I’m pretty sure Season Five of The Walking Dead’s Rick Grimes would have handled the situation differently, but Andrew Lincoln is actually English and handles his heartbreak like a pre-apocalypse gentleman in the original version of Love Actually. In the Country version, Season One Rick Grimes plays this character so as not to completely alter the story arc.

“The Trouble With Love Is” by Kelly Clarkson = “Bartender” by Lady Antebellum

More drinking lost love off of your mind. It works, y’all. At least temporarily.

“Turn Me On” by Norah Jones = “We Danced Anyway” by Deana Carter

In the Country version, Laura Linney will take off that horrid purple toboggan and one of her friends will insist on getting some dry shampoo and hot rollers into that hair. Then she will dance to a fun song with her super hot crush and someone will hide her cell phone.

“Songbird” by Eva Cassidy = “Breathe” by Faith Hill

Gracious. It is sweet relief to love someone, admit it, and be loved back.

“All Alone On Christmas” by Darlene Love = “Lonely Christmas Call” by George Jones

The holidays can be the saddest days of the year for some. Call your sister even though she drives you crazy.

“Smooth” by Santana featuring Rob Thomas = “Yeah” by Joe Nichols

The song says, “Whatever you’re drinking, that’s what I’m drinking.” It’s a known way to pick up girls in a bar, even when they aren’t impressed by your English accent.

“White Christmas” by Otis Redding = “White Christmas” by LeAnn Rimes

It’s tough to beat the soulful version in the original, but LeAnn Rimes does a good job trying.

Image Source: Wikipedia