10 of the Most Ridiculous Things Couples Fight About

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When I got engaged to my husband, I was pretty sure he was nearly perfect. Then we got married and moved in together, and I realized he wasn’t so perfect after all. Turns out, he was learning the same thing about me too. That’s just the nature of two people learning to live with each other. It isn’t always easy, and sometimes it’s the smallest things that cause the biggest fights.

Here are 10 of the Most Ridiculous Things Couples Fight About:

1. How to Squeeze the Toothpaste

“Do you squeeze the toothpaste from the middle?” is probably the first question that should be asked before making any long-term commitments with a person. And, don’t get me started on people who purposefully gag when they brush their teeth. The truth is, it may be best for both parties to have separate toothpaste tubes, and, when necessary, to brush teeth at separate times.

2. Forks Up or Forks Down

I have a friend who was married for a little over a year before she realized that her husband was going behind her back (but not how you’d think). She had been smartly loading the dishwasher with the forks and knives facing downward (for safety reasons), and her husband was turning the forks and knives face up when she wasn’t looking!

It turns out; a lot of couples have this debate. My husband is a forks/knives up guy, and I am a firm believer that the forks and knives should face down. He claims they get cleaner when they are face up, but how can you argue with safety? I finally convinced him of my way after suffering a serious injury (I needed a Band Aid) to my finger due to an upturned fork.

3. The Laundry

When it comes to laundry, I believe people fall into two categories – the perfectionist launderer and the efficient launderer. The perfectionist launderer has a bachelor of arts in laundry management. They know exactly when to use hot and cold, when to hang to dry, and how to fold clothes without leaving creases. The efficient launderer, on the other hand, believes in getting clean clothes as quickly as possible, never mind the sweater that is supposed to be hung to dry. They even (gasp) mix darks and whites and fill the washer up to the brim with clothes. The problem arises when an efficient launderer tries to wash a perfectionist launderer’s clothes. This is a recipe for disaster. In this situation, couples should agree to either do their loads separately, or to allow the perfectionist launderer to do all the laundry. After all, that B.A. in laundry management shouldn’t go to waste…

4. Whose Turn it is to Change a Dirty Diaper

If you have kids, then you know the great debate that sets in when someone gets a whiff of a bad odor coming from the baby’s diaper. It’s not a bad idea to take turns changing dirty diapers, but it’s hard to remember just exactly whose turn it is. In these instances, my husband and I play paper, rock, scissors. Just make sure you both decide beforehand whether or not to play best 2 out of 3.

5. The AC/heater Settings

The term “passive-aggressive” was most likely coined by a couple in an air conditioning/heater war. One person likes it on the warm side, and the other prefers it a little cooler, or one person wants to save a little money. Instead of trying to come to a compromise, most couples just go back and forth, turning it up or down, driving the other person crazy.

6. Cuddling

To cuddle or not to cuddle? That is the question. Inevitably, one person loves cuddling and the other person hates it. The cuddler, of course, feels slighted because he or she can’t understand how the non-cuddler wouldn’t want to spend 8 hours in his or her arms, and the non-cuddler finds himself or herself explaining that it’s not so much that they hate cuddling as much as they hate the extra body heat or the stiff neck pain from a night of using someone’s arm as a pillow. Usually, the non-cuddler wins this one because you can’t really argue with comfort when it comes to sleeping. Plus, the cuddler has to fall asleep at some point, giving the non-cuddler a chance to escape the cuddles.

7. The Imaginary Line in the Middle of the Bed

Couples who don’t fight over cuddling fight over the imaginary line in the middle of the bed, dividing the two sides. There’s really nothing more annoying than being awoken by the words, “Can you scoot over a little bit?” Listen, I get it. If you find yourself in danger of falling off the edge of the bed, it’s okay to ask for a little more room, but if you’re bargaining for a couple of more inches of elbow space, it’s just not okay. No, I’m not bitter…

8. How to Vacation

If you can’t imagine arguing about the perfect way to vacation, then consider yourself lucky (or naive). Everybody has preconceived notions of how vacations should go. One person wants to plan out each second of the vacation, and the other person has a blank slate for the week. One person wants to stop along the way to see different sites, and the other person wants to make record time in getting to their destination. One person wants to stick to a strict budget, and the other person has the “hey, it’s vacation!” mentality when it comes to eating out and buying souvenirs. The important thing is to make sure you both flex a little so that you aren’t both miserable for the entirety of the vacation.

9. The Toilet Seat Lid/Toilet Paper Over or Under

Leaving the toilet seat lid up, isn’t really a debate. When a guy leaves the toilet seat lid up he is effectively saying: “I hate you and I hope you fall into the toilet.” Guys, just don’t ever do it. Please and thank you.

Now, what is debated (but shouldn’t be) is how to hang a roll of toilet paper on a toilet paper roll holder. This is called the “over” or under” debate, and most people agree that toilet paper should be hung “over” (in front of the roll). This allows for ease of use, and, it should be mentioned, is the go-to method for hotels, which go the extra mile by folding that perfect little triangle into the toilet paper. If you are doing life with a perpetual “under” roller, you have my sympathy. Perhaps, you can convert them eventually.

10. Family Photos

Family photos can actually bring out the worst in a family. Usually, the mom has high expectations of obtaining the world’s perfect picture. She dresses her kids and husband in coordinating outfits and tells everybody to be on their best behavior, but then the kids do what kids do – they start whining and giving fake smiles or silly faces. Then the Dad (who just wants to get the photos over with) freaks out and starts threatening the kids with all the consequences that they will face when they get back home. The kids start crying, and Mom gets mad at Dad for overreacting. This all results in a family photo where the kids look scared, the dad looks mad, and the mom looks stressed. You can’t really Photoshop happy at that point.

If you’re able to take a step back, you can begin to realize just how ridiculous these little quarrels are. Very rarely, will you actually “convert” the other person to your view. More often than not, you learn to compromise or learn to live with it. Ultimately, you’ll find the more you love someone, the more you can accept them just the way they are, flaws and all, and they’ll do the same for you.