CDC Says Deer Are the Deadliest Animals in America, So Watch Out


Humans have lived inside for thousands of years. This isn’t by accident of course. As a means to protect ourselves from Mother Nature, be it weather or beast, we literally invented inside. And we have spent the last few thousand years making inside pretty great. Air conditioning, insulation, windows, WiFi, Amazon Echos, and refrigerators have made a lot of us forget how deadly outside is.

In Africa, mosquitoes carry deadly diseases and transfer them from person to person. In Asia, Cobras kill an estimated 50,000 people a year. And here in America, our deadliest animal is the ever-lurking– deer. Wait, what?!

“They get cobras, and we get deer?” you’re asking yourselves. But, what could be more menacing than a silent Bambi lurking in your backyard, completely unsuspected?

Deer account for 120 fatalities in the U.S. every year, according to the CDC. Now, I know what you’re thinking, what should I do in the event of a venomous deer-bite? Well, unfortunately it’s not that simple. Most deer-deaths are actually due to them wandering into oncoming traffic and causing accidents.

Other dangerous animals include bees and wasps, as well as dogs, cows, horses, and the Black Widow Spider.

As someone who has spent their lifetime running from bees, wasps, and generally any creature that buzzes, this graphic is vindicating. It is a thrill to have a lifetime of fears justified, and I will certainly have this printed out the next time I am mocked for making a bee-line sprint away from the cabana at the community pool. However, our deadliest American animals seem kind of pathetic compared to the global deadliest animals. Just look at the list.

Now as someone who has successfully survived close encounters with both bees and deer, I feel qualified to tell you how to best avoid some of these killer critters.

Ocellated Carpet Viper: These pesky little guys love to hide in shag carpet, so either replace your ancient disgusting carpet, or be very careful when vacuuming.

Kissing Bug: I know the name makes it very tempting, but do NOT kiss this bug.

Assassin Bug: Simple rule in life: If an animal has the word assassin in the name, do not trust it.

Deathstalker Scorpion: It may sound harmless, but you want to steer clear of these guys, on account of their penchant for killing.

Fattail Scorpion: These things tend to be a pretty reserved, until you bring up the size of their backside. They hate that, and will become agitated.

I hope you have a better understanding of all of the things on this planet that are looking to kill you, so that you may avoid them. Remember, fear is a natural thing. Stay alert.