Denim Thongs Are Here and There Are No Words

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If you’ve ever thought to yourself, I need a new thong, but I want it to really do work and be not practical— your Christmas has come early. That’s right, denim thongs are a thing, they are here, you can buy them.

Technically, they are called denim knickers, which almost sounds worse. The site describes the only thing worse than getting sand in your bathing suit as, “killer to go with that ultimate outfit, featuring a denim material in a thong style. Team these with cream faux cow skin chaps and matching bralet for that show-stopping festival outfit.”

Show-stopping? Yes, because you will literally have to stop the show to get the denim out of your butt.

The knickers are selling for $25, which is about $25 too much.


denim thong


And yes, the faux cow skin chaps are also available for purchase for some reason. They run an easy $45 and are described as, “that killer festival piece to get you noticed for all of the right reasons, it’s right here. Featuring a cream faux fur cow print fabric, these chap trousers are a serious statement maker. Style them with some denim shorts and the matching bralet for a head turning look.”