If I made a list of things I truly love and look forward to, the overlap in the Venn Diagram where the Olympics meet Ralph Lauren would be staggering. I love the Olympics and I love that Silver Fox up in New York City. (When you add in how much I love sports and America it’s shocking I don’t take the entirety of the games off to watch 24/7.) Obviously, when Team USA takes the ice or the slopes or the court or the field or whatever Olympic surface they are playing on, they are usually outfitted in Nike or some other gear company you’ve never heard of for a sport you only consume every few years. However, when Team USA athletes participate in the opening or closing ceremonies or other official events, they were the custom Ralph Lauren designed gear.
First, the parka isn’t available to the public. Probably because the technology is so insane, no normal human could afford it. According to a release, there is a heating system made from “electronic printed conductive inks, printed in the shape of an American flag in carbon and silver ink and bonded to the interior of the jackets. The printed conductive inks are flexible and stretchable and connect to a battery pack with three settings. With water-repellent properties and featuring 11 hours of heating time at full charge and immediate heat, the jackets are truly functional pieces for America’s brightest athletes.”
I’m not a mathematician or scientist and I have no reason to need a coat that keeps me warm for 11 hours, but I would assume this parka costs around $1,500?
The fringe suede gloves also don’t seem to be available at the moment, but I bet they’d run you around $495.
The Team USA sweater is 100 percent merino wood, which was “sourced from a sustainable ranch in Oregon to its red, white, and blue stripes, this piece pays tribute to all-American craftsmanship.” It’s modeled after a vintage ski sweater and finished with an official USOC shield patch. It costs $495 because sustainable wool is pricey!
The official Team USA Closing Ceremony Hat rings in at $195 and is made with the same thread that is used to embroider the signature pony on all Polo shirt. That thread also comes from those special sheep in Oregon.
The Ceremony Mittens for Team USA convert into fingerless gloves, which is why they are $195. It’s kind of like a two-for-one deal, you know? These mittens/fingerless gloves can only be dry cleaned, so if you spill hot chocolate on them– too bad.
The Team USA bracelet is an optional accessory for athletes, but since it was made in Brooklyn and designed exclusively for athletes to wear during the Olympic Winter Games PyeongChang 2018 it costs $95.
You would’ve loved the Team USA Ceremony Slim Jean in junior high, right? Right. The Olympic motto, “Faster, Higher, Stronger,” finishes the interior waistband as a tribute to the spirit of sport.
You have to really love America to purchase the Team USA Ceremony Suede boot for $995. However, “these water-resistant shoes merge the rugged styling of a hiking boot with supple suede and fine American craftsmanship.”
After putting the jeans, hat, sweater, gloves and bracelet, jeans and boots to my cart, my total to look kind of like Team USA was $2,375.
So, if you want to look like Team USA, you better save your cash or opt for a nice red, white and blue shirt.