Dear Boyfriends, Fiancés, and Husbands,
If we women are honest, Valentine’s Day is a trap – a sort of pass/fail test. Sure, some women care about it more than others, but we all want to know that we are loved. Of course, the totality of your love cannot be summed up in one card, one box of chocolates, or a bouquet of roses, and we get that. Sometimes, we (women) have a hard time telling you what we want, and sometimes we even say one thing and mean a totally different thing. I realize that’s confusing, but you love us. Don’t forget that. The last thing you want is to hear is this: “I’m not mad. I’m just a little disappointed, that’s all.”
That’s why I hope to give you some interpretations of what your girlfriend actually wants you to do this Valentine’s Day as well as give you a few dos and don’ts:
When your girl says: “Let’s not do Valentine’s Day this year.”
What you need to do: Just go ahead and nod your head, but don’t be dumb. She doesn’t actually mean it. She will wake up on February 14th and see the barrage of Valentine’s Day pictures on Facebook and Instagram, and she will hope you didn’t really take her seriously. If you don’t do anything, she could even end the night crying in a locked bathroom wondering why you didn’t surprise her with anything at all – even some dumb teddy bear holding a heart.
When your girl says: “Valentine’s Day is my favorite, but don’t feel like you have to go all out. “
What you need to do: This is a warning. You are going to feel terrible on Valentine’s Day if you don’t go all out because you can be sure she will. She’ll make you handmade Valentines and give you cards that lead you on a scavenger hunt to your favorite places and end with the perfect gift for you. Hire a pilot to do sky writing or something extremely creative or thoughtful. If she goes all out like for love, can you imagine what she will do to you if she doesn’t like you? You don’t want to be on the wrong end of a Miranda Lambert song.
When your girl says: “Valentine’s Day is overrated and just an excuse for retailers to make money off selling chocolates, cards, and gifts.”
What you need to do: Don’t think that she doesn’t want you to do anything. She’s trying to tell you that she doesn’t like traditional Valentine’s Day gifts. You too are going to have to think outside of the box to find a special way to show her that you love her.
When your girl says: “Last year, Sue’s husband sent her flowers at work. Wasn’t that sweet?”
What you need to do: This is an all-out hint. Your wife/girlfriend wants you to do something similar. Send her flowers at work, or better yet, surprise her at the office, by showing up for an unexpected lunch date. She wants all her co-workers to know how great you are. (This year Valentine’s Day is on a Saturday, so you may want to surprise her with a pre-Valentine’s gift the day before).
I know what you’re thinking: why can’t we women just tell you what we want? That’s an absurd question. If we tell you what we want, then it takes away the surprise, and we hope that you’ll just know us and love us so well that finding the perfect gift and knowing just what to do will come naturally. I knew a girl who got a printer for Valentine’s Day once. True love doesn’t always mean the perfect gift.
Now some guys need no help and for those out there who knock it out the park every time, I applaud you. For the rest of you, here are a few dos and don’ts:
Don’t be cliché.
Get creative. Think about what she likes – her hobbies and interests. Make the date your gift (for that day or the future). Go dancing, or to a painting class, go to a concert or rodeo.
Do check out her Pinterest boards.
If your wife is on Pinterest then you need to figure out a way to see what she’s pinning. This is a gold mine for guys who don’t know what to get the woman they love. If you can’t hack her account, then ask her friends what she’s pinned, or go ahead and make your own account. You will get ideas for gifts to buy, or make, or things to do.
Do be romantic (not utilitarian).
Don’t be like my friend’s husband. Yes, your wife may have said that she needs a phone charger, but it’s Valentine’s Day. Dig deep and get outside your comfort zone. Write her a love note or a song, make her dinner, give her something meaningful.
Do plan everything.
I married a non-planner, and that’s okay. We both have our role, but every once in a while it’s nice not being the planner.
Don’t give gift cards unless it’s to a spa or for a massage or something like that.
When you’re married and you share a checking account and your husband gives you a gift card, it’s like he’s saying, “Hey, you know that money we already share. Well, you can have some. Go pick out something special for yourself.”
Do buy her chocolates.
This is obviously in addition to whatever else you have planned, but please don’t buy anything low fat. It sends the wrong message.
Do something. Anything.
Don’t let February 14th pass you by without showing her that you love her. Something is always better than nothing. It’s only one day a year. Find some way to show her that you love her.
You can do it! Start thinking and planning now so that Valentine’s Day doesn’t sneak up on you. Forgive society (and all those awesome guys out there who go way over the top) for the pressure that Valentine’s Day puts on you. Put all that aside, and just try to give your girlfriend/fiancée/wife a present or date that she’ll love.
Best of luck to you all!
Image Source: BigStock, Wikipedia