One might think that making mom friends is easy, but that isn’t always the case. I mean, sometimes it is– sometimes, your friends from high school or college or work have kids around the same time as you do and you all just continue to do life together. But more often than not, moms find themselves in a new dating pool-– the mom-friend dating pool and it can be every bit as hard and awkward as real dating.
1. Moms use pick-up lines.
You’re at the park, and you see another mom and her kid, and you finally get the courage to speak up and ask the mom, “How old is your kid?” This is the pick-up line that breaks the ice. Sometimes it gets awkward from there, especially if the other mom isn’t interested. She might suddenly have to get her kid down for a nap, but sometimes it breaks the ice, and you leave with the other mom’s phone number with a chance for a first play date.
2. Moms “check out” other moms.
It’s true! Moms do “check out” other moms, but it’s not a looks-based thing. Usually, you’re watching for how they parent. Do they parent similar to you or not? Are they going to judge you because your two-year-old still has a paci or freak out if you serve the kids processed foods for lunch? These are the things you try to figure out by watching them parent or checking out some of the things they post on Facebook. Yes, sometimes moms Facebook stalk potential mom friends, but it’s not nearly as creepy as it sounds.
3. You have to put yourself out there.
Do you text or do you call? Do you invite her to your house or to meet at the park? And what does it mean if she doesn’t get back to you? Did she not get your phone call or text? Maybe she meant to reply and forgot?
4. First play dates are like first real dates.
You don’t wear your yoga pants to a first play date, (though you probably will by play date number three or four). No, the first play date, you try to look somewhat presentable, and you make sure your diaper bag is packed and ready so you don’t have to bum any diapers or wipes off your potential new mom friend. You pray your kid doesn’t break any of her kids’ toys or tackle his or her new friend (as a mom of all boys, I can attest– this has happened to me).
5. It can get awkward.
Sometimes the friendship gets a little lopsided, and as a mom you start to take the hint when one mom is always too busy to do a play date or always seems to cancel last minute. Then you see her on a play date with another mom, and you finally get it — she’s just not that into you, and it hurts a little.
6. There are deal breakers.
This is different for each individual mom, but there are some things that are just deal breakers– and you realize, it’s not you– it’s them.
7. There are dating apps for mom-friends.
Okay, so you don’t swipe right or left, but there are apps for making mom friends. Apps like Momco and Hello Mamas help moms locate other moms that live close to them and have similar aged children, and when you consider how hard it can be to make mom friends, it sort of makes sense.
8. Good mom friends are hard to find.
Good mom friends can be hard to find, so when you find that special mom friend who doesn’t judge you, encourages you, makes you laugh, and enjoys your company (and likes your kids too) then you know it’s a friendship you’ll want to hold on to, and hopefully, she’ll feel the same way.