60 Things Real Men Don’t Do

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The world is filled with men who aspire to be real men, but don’t always know what that actually means. So to identify what a real man is, let’s look at what a real man isn’t. The items below are a few examples of what a real man doesn’t do for the betterment of himself or those around him. Some of the things are serious, while others should be taken with a grain of salt. Did I miss anything?

1. Hit a woman
Ever. No matter what.

2. Hit an animal
Other than to prevent it from causing serious bodily harm to another human being.

3. Lie
To anyone — his boss, his best friend, his significant other. He is smart enough to know the consequences if he gets caught.

4. Cheat
Whether at poker, golf, taxes, his significant other. Like lying, he is smart enough to know the consequences if he gets caught.

5. Steal
Unless he needs to in order to feed his family.

6. Judge others
He leaves that to God and the judicial system.

7. Hesitate to tell his spouse or kids that he loves them
He tells them every single day of his life.

8. Fear the loss of love
He is secure in his relationships.

9. Doesn’t hesitate to come to those in need
Even if he puts his own health at risk.

10. Admit to watching anything on the Hallmark, Lifetime, or ABC Family channel
Not even if no one is home.

11 .Stop and ask for directions
Men prefer to get lost, waste fuel and swear for no reason, but they don’t ask for directions.

12. Talks down to someone
He talks to them.

13. Change
He evolves and matures with time.

14. Looks for a fight
He only fights if it is necessary and rightly justified.

15. Ask, “What’s for dinner?”
If he needs to asks, he cooks dinner. And then does the dishes.

16. Cry when watching a movie
Unless he is watching Where the Red Fern Grows, Old Yeller, or Brian’s Song.

17. Pierce any part of his body
No matter statement he is trying to make — it looks preposterous.

18. Know the complete lyrics to a Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, or Pink song
Or Coldplay or Maroon 5.

19. Talk about fashion
It’s okay to talk about style, but not fashion. There’s a difference.

20. Sit while a pregnant woman has to stand
His is a gentleman, not a jerk.

21. Get drunk in public
Yes, he drinks; he just doesn’t over drink. At least not very often and for good reason.

22. Post drunken pictures
Of himself or anyone else on any form of social media. Not cool.

23. Drink and Drive
Call a friend or friend to pick you up. Don’t risk it.

24. Be on any social media platform for more than 15 minutes
Unless it’s business related.

25. Expect praise for doing what he is supposed to do
He is supposed to take care of his kids, clean up after himself, and work for a living.

26. Shave any part of his body
Shaving his head is fine.

27. Dye his hair
If he is going gray, he rocks it out.

28. Starts drama
He avoids it at all costs.

29. Wear a skirt
Unless it’s a kilt.

30. Wear a sarong
Unless he is native to the South Pacific.

31. Drink anything with a paper umbrella in it
Unless it’s free. Then it’s fine.

32. Scratch or adjust himself in public
That’s what the comfort of his sofa is for.

33. Make bodily sounds in public
It doesn’t matter which hole it’s coming from.

34. Get facials, skin peels or pedicures
Manicures are fine.

35. Wear nail polish
Buffing is acceptable.

36. Carry a purse
Messenger bags are allowed.

37. Gossip
Leave that to women.

38. Go more than a year without reading a book
He reads and he reads often.

39. Tries to be a know-it-all
He will admit that he doesn’t know everything.

40. Places blame on others
He owns up to his own mistakes.

41. Being indecisive
Little boys don’t know what they want, men do.

42. Wear Speedos
Unless he is from Europe or is competing in a swim meet.

43. Wear lip-gloss, eyeliner or mascara
Unless it’s for a costume for a Halloween. And then only sparingly.

44. Go to Zumba
Or wear a leotard.

45. Neglect his health
Nor does he allow his family to neglect theirs either.

46. Talks with his mouth full
Nor does he blow his nose while at the dinner table.

47. Expect things to happen
He makes things happen.

48. Get jealous
He is confident in his own talents.

49. Obsess over his looks
He understands that flaws are sexy.

50. Forgets where he came from
Or who helped him get to where he is.

51. End any type of relationship via text, email or any other form of social media
Face-to-face is the best way for complete closure.

52. Wish the downfall of a competitor
He doesn’t need others to fail for him to succeed.

53. Takes himself too seriously
He already knows life it too short for such nonsense.

54. Use people
He helps them.

55. Participate in life-threatening behavior
Unless he has significant life insurance.

56. Care about the future
He has goals, and he puts work into achieving them: career, financial, and most importantly, relationship goals.

57. Spit into the wind
Pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger, tug on Superman’s cape, or mess around with Jim.

58. Have a philosophy in life
He knows what he wants and he will defend his choices, even when his peer group disagrees with them.

59. Quit
Ever. At anything.

60. Read a list to tell him he’s a real man
He already knows.