Rarely do two words in the English language have such a different meaning to women as they do to men. To women, there can be a dangerous build up of unrealistic expectation placed on their man’s ability to express his undying & unconditional love for her, usually in the form of red roses, romantic candlelit dinners and heart-shaped merchandise. On occasion however, Dang Chicks can go a little overboard and our version of Valentine’s Day grows into something found in a romance novel.
“He rode towards me with unbridled passion on his powerful steed, galloping powerfully across the beach defying the unstoppable waves that crashed against the horses trampling feet. I grasped for air when I saw him clutching the bouquet of red roses that were carefully bound together by the ribbon he took out of my hair the first night we fell in love by the fire. Attached to the bouquet, I saw a piece of tea-stained parchment paper that I instantly knew was his profession of love for me in the form of a poem he wrote the night before. This was going to be the best Valentine’s Day ever!”
Meanwhile back in the real world, your man has never ridden a horse, hates the beach, and thinks “50 Shades of Grey” must be the most boring box set of Crayons ever assembled.
When men think of Valentine’s Day, their first thought is “Uh, oh”…plain and simple. It’s not that they don’t love us, don’t care about us, or don’t want to be our knights in shining armor. Quite the contrary. They are afraid of letting us down. And who can blame them when we create this huge vision in our heads like the one just described. Remember chicks, that we are dealing with the gender that compares special occasions against dates on the master sports calendar. I.E. Valentine’s Day is right after the Super Bowl, before baseball Spring Training, and there’s only a little hockey, golf, and pro basketball on TV. Translation: “dinner with the little lady could work out nicely.”
So, how do Dang Chicks avoid being let down while also allowing their man to show how much they love us? This year, try these little tips to help both of you get what you want:
1. Help your fella out.
When men are thinking about other things (what’s for dinner, avoiding the “honey-do” list, how many bars is my new wi-fi putting out around the house?), we have to communicate slowly, show pictures when possible, and only use small words. Strategically place short love notes around the house. Taped to the TV remote, as a screen saver on his work computer, or on the leftover pizza box in the refrigerator usually does the trick. Do this well before Valentine’s Day hinting at what you want him to give you this year so he has time to properly procrastinate.
2. Set the bar low, and then challenge him.
Usually when men are challenged, they rise to the occasion. Inside your man is still a little boy that wants to impress his girl. Picture him as a kid popping wheelies in front of you on his bike doing laps around the neighborhood. “You know we can go to our usual restaurant and I’ll be happy. If you wanted to impress me though, get us those hard-to-get reservations at that swanky new place downtown.”
3. Be grateful.
There are so many people in the world that do not have someone to share life with. Make your man feel respected and he will make you feel loved. Say thank you, but also tell him you expect him to open your door…then let him. Even if you have to patiently stand by the car door as he climbs in and then suddenly remembers another little way he can say, “Honey, I love you with all my heart.”
He may not drive a noble steed or even write poetry, but he’s your man. Happy Valentine’s Day.
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