What NOT to Wear To a Southern Wedding

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Ah, a fabulous southern wedding. The food is better, the drinks flow more freely, the flowers are fresher and the grandmothers cuter. There’s really not a better place to get married than in the South. So, if you have to spend more than one Saturday at a wedding, be thankful it’s in the South.

At times, it is hard to know what to wear to a Southern wedding. But, really– it’s not. You just wear what you’d wear to any other wedding.

The real hard part is knowing what not to wear.

Camouflage.

Hold on, I know what you’re thinking. But, the bride’s wearing it. Well, it’s her party! She can wear whatever she wants. If this is a wedding where camouflage is important, let the bridal party shine, don’t take away from their spotlight. No camo at a southern wedding unless specifically instructed from the bride (and even then, you should approach this philosophy of dress very delicately).

Jorts.

There’s no wedding on planet earth casual enough to handle a pair of jorts. Not even a wedding at a dirt race track, which in theory, would seem pretty casual. No jorts at a wedding.

A bandana.

I hate that I even have to mention this, but it seems necessary. Weddings are not the place to show off a new bandana.

A fanny pack.

You shouldn’t be smuggling anything into a wedding, so there’s no reason to dress like a packrat. If, for some reason, you are carrying a large of amount of items around, you need re-evaluate the situation and maybe just make a few trips to the car.

Tube top.

Even if this wedding is at the beach, you cannot wear a tube top. Less is not more at a wedding. You don’t want to be the center of attention at this event, so try to cover your midriff.

Tiara.

Tell me again why you even own a tiara and then we can talk. I wouldn’t even let Kate Middleton wear a tiara to a wedding. This is not your time to shine bright!

Aqua socks.

Don’t label me an aqua sock hater. Even as an adult woman, every couple of trips down the river I go buy a pair to impress my friends with the benefits of a fully waterproof shoe. However, unless the wedding is at the bottom of the Mississippi River, leave those bad boys at home.

Remember: a Southern wedding is just like any other wedding (see: better). Treat it like the classy affair that it is and enjoy yourself!

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